Revolve.

Back in January, I had a little discussion with myself about whether or not to write a "New Year" themed post. Emphasizing a more or less arbitrary demarcation in the passage of time has never been very appealing to me, but I think there's value to be found in these types of discussions when everyone is thinking about them at the same time, though I never ended up writing a new year post. However, I think now is as good a time as any. Some of the following words have been stowed away in a draft mode of the new year's post that never got published, and some are more recent thoughts.

In this most recent trip around the sun, my life has changed considerably, and now that graduation is less than a month away, my life is going to change even more.

A year and a few months ago, I woke up my first morning in India, which happened to be my twenty-first birthday, and the first birthday I spent away from home. That birthday was a strange little vortex of emotions, bottled up inside a container forged from jet-lag. The events of the day were pretty mundane and focused on becoming oriented to a new place and new people, but it was a good symbolic birthday. That time that I spent abroad was my gift to myself, a birthday present to remind myself to actively pursue my goals and interests and to stop whining and live. It was the craziest, most frustrating, most satisfying thing I've ever done, and that journey taught me a lot about myself. The more interesting of my experiences are chronicled here, but I also wrote a few things that I didn't post. I was reading back through those, and I came across something I decided is worth sharing. It was a reflection on my first couple days in Delhi, and I ended it with this:

I don't want to lose my passion or my motivation; I have too little time here to waste it being discouraged. I want to bottle and save this energy and peace so that I can tap into it whenever I feel the need. I want to remind myself that letting go isn't the same as forgetting, and holding on isn't the same as condoning.

I've been working hard this year at de-cluttering my mental space, living authentically, and eliminating noise. Things that help me do this: cooking with friends, tea time, spontaneous life talks, walking along the river, meditating, paint dates, filterfail.

I want to talk a little about that last item in the list. My friend made me a big fan of the filterfail, which is an intentional breaking down of walls and barriers in order to achieve honest, unfiltered communication. I'm not going to lie - I still filter things. Sometimes it's necessary, and sometimes it's just easier. But I realized that most filters (aside from the one that sifts out things that would be rude/offensive) are just reactions to fear. Fear of getting hurt, being judged, making the wrong impression, deviating from what's expected of you...fear of a lot of things. And that fear is almost always unproductive. So in response to being the recipient of unfiltered thoughts, I've tried to eliminate some of my own filters - or, at the very least, to become more aware of when and why I use them. It's been a very satisfying journey so far; I've applied it in the realm of academics, personal communication, and workplace/job searching. It's difficult to do at times, but it's a very rewarding practice. I think I'll continue to do this.

Here's a magnolia tree - because everyone should stop and smell the flowers. (It's not the season for roses yet.)

More thoughts soon.

Namaste, and happy Earth day.

A Perfect Rochester Saturday

Last week, I was hit by a wave of about-to-graduate-college stress. As the weather hit mid-80s and the sun was shining, I was feeling guilty for wanting to go outside and play.

Then I decided that I was going to take a day to enjoy the beautiful world around me, since I would probably wind up distracted from my work because of the weather anyway.

Rochester is a lovely city when it's not buried under three feet of snow. Saturday, my relaxation day, was one of the best days I can remember having here. And it was completely unrelated to the university (except for the fact that the people involved were people I met when I arrived here freshman year...).

On Saturday morning, Kevin and I went to the public market for breakfast. (Fun Fact #1: Rochester's public market is 105 years old!) If you'll indulge me for a moment, I have to rave about empanadas. The public market is home to Juan and Maria's Empanada Stop, and it's definitely one of the most popular destinations at the market, and for good reason. For those who don't know, empanadas are delicious little Spanish pastries stuffed with...well, almost anything. For Saturday morning breakfast, I like to get one veggie breakfast (egg, assorted vegetables, and spices) and one sweet empanada (mixed fruits and nuts). They are positively divine. We waited in line for at least 15 minutes, which was okay because on one side of the empanada shop was a man playing the accordion, and on the other, two college-aged kids playing ukelele and singing. The sun was shining, and the motley crew of market-goers strolled by. And we were rewarded with a positively scrumptious breakfast.

Since it was such a beautiful day, we went up to the beach at Lake Ontario. (Fun Fact #2: Apparently there's a carousel at the park, and it's incidentally also 105 years old. I didn't know this until I went to find the park website to put here.) Having learned our lesson the first time we attempted an April lake day where it was a solid 25º colder at the lake than it was at the University, we wore pants and brought sweatshirts and blankets. Luck would have it that the weather, though cooler than it was inland, was downright pleasant. And it got warmer while we were there. Some cognitive dissonance going on, though; the weather clearly announced springtime, but there wasn't even a hint of budding leaves on the trees. Looking from the beach back towards the park, it looked like a barren, unhappy place. Until you saw the happy little people in shorts and sandals making their way onto the beach.

Here's Kevin looking for driftwood and blending quite nicely with his surroundings, that little chameleon:

He found some nifty looking driftwood, which he made into a sandwich/tower:

We lounged around, read our (non-school!) books, and basked in the warmth. Oh, and laughed at all the little kids building sand castles, discovering how cold the water is, and generally being silly.

When I got home in the middle of the afternoon, I had a fabulous conversation about life, love, and the future with my fabulous roommate, with whom I don't spend nearly enough time since our schedules seem to be maximized in their oppositeness. (Fun Fact #3: "Oppositeness" appears to be a real word, rather than one I made up simply because of its usefulness.) Then I complained about being bored, so she told me to bake. I wanted to make paska but didn't have enough time, so I made blonde brownies instead, which was a tasty decision.

The reason I didn't have time to make paska was that Kevin and I had a date to go see a play at our local professional theater, Geva. The University's theater program performed one of last semester's shows, The Illusion, at Geva as part of the spring CollegeFest. Our friend Phil was in it, wearing tights and getting in swordfights, and it was fantastic.

To finish the day of local delights, we went back to Kevin's house in the South Wedge for stargazing, philosophizing, and conversing with friends. I am immensely glad that it's now warm enough to sit outside at night.

***

Yesterday I actually did make that paska. I was very pleased how it turned out - like REAL BREAD! It took up a large portion of the day, but that's alright.

Sidenote: If anyone would like to finance my future, I'm thinking it would be a lot of fun to open up a café/bakery. Perks include requesting your favorite foodstuffs for the menu. ;)

Today I resumed all my responsibilities full-force, attending class and work, doing homework, and continuing the job search. However, strolling through Highland Park after getting out of work was refreshing and relaxing. It's amazing how the mood of the whole city improves with a few days of sunshine, and how quickly the flowers all bloom. Photo adventure soon.

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To end, and by request, a photo of the monkeys (and monster) that were the subject of the craft time I wrote about in my last post: